Ask and it shall be given

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.  Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?   If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"  Matthew 7:7-11

The last few days I have been frustrated with my 6-year old.  Whenever he wants something, he tells me what he has and what he doesn't have, and occasionally what he needs (usually while whining) but never asks for the thing that he wants.  Instead, he whines that he was thirsty "all night" or that he has crayons and a notebook but no paper.  Why can't he just ask me for what he needs?  I will be more than happy to give him a glass of water or a stack of drawing paper!

As I was thinking about how much this was driving me crazy, I felt like God was saying, "Sound familiar?"  And you know what?  It does.  I know I tell God what I am worried about, I talk to him about what I have and what I am lacking, but do I ask him for those things?  Or am I just whining to the creator of the universe?

Seeing ourselves in our kids can be a humbling experience.  Lord, help me to learn from my children, and help me see when I am 'whining' and instead learn to ask for my needs.

A New Thing

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:19


Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way we planned it. 


As soon as I put the period on the previous sentence, I laughed out loud.  Talk about the understatement of the century!  But today, at least personally, I am referring to one thing in particular - my career.

I will admit, I have never known what I want to be when I grow up.  Rather, I have flitted through life and whenever the next great thing came along, I jumped on it with enthusiasm.  The last "next great thing" I found - which required three years of law school, a grueling bar exam, and plenty of job-specific training - I really thought would be the "last great thing" [and the angels burst into fits of laughter], but it turns out I was wrong again.

For whatever reason I may never understand, God had a different plan.  So instead of blossoming into a female Lt Daniel Kaffee, I'll be turning in my combat boots for crayons and my meetings for play dates.  I am going to be the one thing I never imagined as I paraded all the "possibilities" of life through my mind - I'm going to be a Stay At Home Mom! 

After the initial shock of this major life twist, Nick and I are really excited about the possibilities.  Imagine actually getting to raise the child you brought into this world?  Being the first person to see their first step or hear their first word.  Being there to kiss away the hurts.  Having the time to be silly and play instead of always prepping for the workday ahead.  I can't wait to get to spend more time with my kids and get to know them in a way I never have had the chance to.

God is doing a new thing in the life of my family, and I can't wait to see how it turns out!

Peace

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

What is peace?  Some define peace as the absence of something - the absence of war, or hostility.  For children of the 60's, peace became something of an ideology.  To me, peace is many things, but not something that's absent.

Jesus told us, "Peace I leave with you."  It is His gift to us.  I am sitting in my home enjoying the stillness while Carsten and Nick nap the afternoon away.  This is peace.  Driving to work in the warmth of my car, looking out at the snow that still covers the ground, and hearing Carsten point out every cow he sees along the way (and there are hundreds) is peace.  Going to sleep at night, knowing men and women all over the world have sacrificed this luxury so that I can live the life I have is peace.  Being confident that no matter how strong the wind or fierce the storm, my God is always in control is peace.

We live in hectic and uncertain times.  Turmoil seems to lurk around every corner.  But Jesus left us peace... all we have to do is take this wonderful gift He has given.  I wish you all a very blessed start of the new year and the new decade - but most of all, I wish you all peace.

Out with the old...

"There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot,a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,a time to weep and a time to laugh,a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,a time to embrace and a time to refrain,a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,a time to tear and a time to mend,a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate,a time for war and a time for peace."  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

As 2009 comes to a close, I find myself doing what most people tend to do ~ reflecting on the year gone by and anticipating the year ahead.  When the clock struck midnight last New Year's Eve, Nick and I had visions of 2009, "Our Best Year Yet," and anticipated the coming year and all we were sure it would hold.  We would be married in April, Dylan would start Kindergarten in September, we'd start on an addition to the family, we'd both move forward in our careers - we bascially had it all figured out.

Things started out as planned.  Nick settled into his new squadron, we both garnered Company Grade Officer honors, I got my certification as a JAG, wedding plans were going great.  2009 was definitely going to be our "Best."

But, then came the rain ~ not a sprinkling, but a torrential downpour.  On the way to our wedding, I was served with court papers.  The ripple effect of that act canceled our honeymoon, led to months of travel and court dates, and ultimately changed where Dylan would go to school.  As we were still spinning from that go around, we found out we were expecting.  From so low, to as high as ever.  Then there was more legal interference.  While I juggled that, Nick left for training (part of the gig when you're in the Air Force).  Then, a few days later, I lost our baby.  Complications from the miscarriage put me in the hospital.  Thank you Lord for the friends who stepped in to care for Carsten and try to make some of this easier.  Once I was out of the hospital, the legal onslaught came even stronger.  And, just when we thought we were done with the fights of this year, I learned my career was about to face a very abrupt change.

Whew.  What a year.  Not what we planned.  Not what we prepared for.  But still, we're here.  A little battle scarred, and maybe nursing a few injuries, but still moving forward.

Friends who don't have faith question how we stand it and press on.  Honestly, when you look at us from the outside, you might think "Whatever they've got, if it allows them to have to face all of that, I don't want it."  But, we know that,no matter how monstrous it all seems, these are merely "light and momentary trials."  God's word promises us that for everything there is a season.  So we thank God for bringing us through the seasons we have weathered so far and we cling to Him in anticipation of what lies ahead.

And you know what, 2009 was the "Best Year Yet" and we can't wait to take the ride 2010 has in store.

The Roller-Coaster

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

"Ah... my poor husband!" So many sentiments that I share tend to start that way!

Most recently, I've had this thought in terms of the roller-coaster ride he's been on for 2 years and 2 months now.

My life took a turn off the rosy path I had envisioned for myself a long time ago! And almost as soon as I stepped off that road, the twists, turns, and tumbles started to multiply! But, after a while, you become almost immune to it. Kind of like the guy who set the world record by riding a roller-coaster for 147 hours straight! All of the motion becomes a new normal. I will never forget - my second year of law school, I called my sister and told her that I had just heard that "normal people" didn't think "XYZ." She confirmed that was actually true and I was SHOCKED! I had always assumed everyone else's thought patterns and processes were just like mine. But, as it turned out, I was the anomaly. My "new normal" had become so much a part of my life that it wasn't even "new" anymore, it just was.

So imagine a man who maybe hadn't lived his entire life on easy street, but somewhere close... and take him from the "blue" slopes of life and stick him on a "double diamond" and sit back and watch the scene unfold. That's essentially what I did with Nick.

He's still learning what the "new normal" is for him. He still has days when his eyes get wide as saucers and he stares at me as if maybe I haven't fully grasped the gravity of what's going on. But like I said, for me... this is just normal.

In our wedding vows, we promised to "Consider it joy" when we face trials because we "know that the testing of [our] faith develops perseverance." THAT has been the hardest of all our vows to live up to, and believe me, we have been given ample opportunity!

Just like the roller-coaster with its dips, twists, loops, and turns... this life is going to take us for a ride. Thank goodness we have God and each other to get us through. So, as we head into the next ride (and it seems there's always one around the corner), I say - let's just throw our hands in the air, savor the thrill, and "Consider it PURE JOY!" BRING IT!

My best friends make up what I call my "court of crazies." When I first met the core of this crew, two of us were in law school and the third was married to a fellow student. We met at the welcome reception. In a sea of perfectly normal people, the three of us were drawn to one another. I used to joke that it was our "crazy: rada

Preparing for the Feast

"The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son..." Matthew 22:2-14

Every day I spend with my husband is a day I am reminded just how much men and women are both different and the same.

Nick was recently away for some time with his job (62 days... I wasn't counting or anything). While he was gone he found a "new favorite" local restaurant. As his time away drew to a close, he knew his opportunities to go to this restaurant were slipping by. So, he made plans to go there "one last time" with some of his friends. The day of that feast, he "prepared" for his meal all day. He didn't eat. Who does that? Well, apparently he does. He wanted to make sure he was completely ready -- hungry enough to truly savor every bite.

Women too prepare for things, but in a way that (to me, at least) makes much more sense. For instance, any woman who's ever been a bride or a bridesmaid has probably endured the 48-hour tan-wax-mani/pedi-long bath-hair dressing ritual that often leads up to a wedding. This preparation is much more about indulgence than deprivation, and frankly I imagine has to be more pleasurable than starving oneself.

Man or woman, we've all prepared for something at some point. But what are we as Christians doing to prepare for the ultimate Feast -- the Wedding to end all weddings?

Jesus told the parable of a wedding banquet, given by the King, and many were invited, but those who were not prepared were not allowed in. "For many are invited, but few are chosen." (Matthew 22:14)

Am I ready for THE Wedding? If Christ called me to the Feast today, I fear my entrance may be more akin to the mascara-smeared, smoking hair, shrunken-dress wearing bride of my pre-wedding nightmares than that which I am called to be.

But how do you prepare for such an event? I think both men and women have some things right in this respect. We have to "starve" ourselves, depriving our hearts of sinful indulgences, inducing a hunger for Christ, His teachings, and His righteousness. We must expose ourselves to the SON, until His glow can be seen in us -- bathe ourselves in prayer -- and refine our rough edges until we are a reflection of His spirit.

I guess my husband's logic isn't completely off after all.