Out with the old...

"There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot,a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,a time to weep and a time to laugh,a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,a time to embrace and a time to refrain,a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,a time to tear and a time to mend,a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate,a time for war and a time for peace."  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

As 2009 comes to a close, I find myself doing what most people tend to do ~ reflecting on the year gone by and anticipating the year ahead.  When the clock struck midnight last New Year's Eve, Nick and I had visions of 2009, "Our Best Year Yet," and anticipated the coming year and all we were sure it would hold.  We would be married in April, Dylan would start Kindergarten in September, we'd start on an addition to the family, we'd both move forward in our careers - we bascially had it all figured out.

Things started out as planned.  Nick settled into his new squadron, we both garnered Company Grade Officer honors, I got my certification as a JAG, wedding plans were going great.  2009 was definitely going to be our "Best."

But, then came the rain ~ not a sprinkling, but a torrential downpour.  On the way to our wedding, I was served with court papers.  The ripple effect of that act canceled our honeymoon, led to months of travel and court dates, and ultimately changed where Dylan would go to school.  As we were still spinning from that go around, we found out we were expecting.  From so low, to as high as ever.  Then there was more legal interference.  While I juggled that, Nick left for training (part of the gig when you're in the Air Force).  Then, a few days later, I lost our baby.  Complications from the miscarriage put me in the hospital.  Thank you Lord for the friends who stepped in to care for Carsten and try to make some of this easier.  Once I was out of the hospital, the legal onslaught came even stronger.  And, just when we thought we were done with the fights of this year, I learned my career was about to face a very abrupt change.

Whew.  What a year.  Not what we planned.  Not what we prepared for.  But still, we're here.  A little battle scarred, and maybe nursing a few injuries, but still moving forward.

Friends who don't have faith question how we stand it and press on.  Honestly, when you look at us from the outside, you might think "Whatever they've got, if it allows them to have to face all of that, I don't want it."  But, we know that,no matter how monstrous it all seems, these are merely "light and momentary trials."  God's word promises us that for everything there is a season.  So we thank God for bringing us through the seasons we have weathered so far and we cling to Him in anticipation of what lies ahead.

And you know what, 2009 was the "Best Year Yet" and we can't wait to take the ride 2010 has in store.

The Roller-Coaster

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3

"Ah... my poor husband!" So many sentiments that I share tend to start that way!

Most recently, I've had this thought in terms of the roller-coaster ride he's been on for 2 years and 2 months now.

My life took a turn off the rosy path I had envisioned for myself a long time ago! And almost as soon as I stepped off that road, the twists, turns, and tumbles started to multiply! But, after a while, you become almost immune to it. Kind of like the guy who set the world record by riding a roller-coaster for 147 hours straight! All of the motion becomes a new normal. I will never forget - my second year of law school, I called my sister and told her that I had just heard that "normal people" didn't think "XYZ." She confirmed that was actually true and I was SHOCKED! I had always assumed everyone else's thought patterns and processes were just like mine. But, as it turned out, I was the anomaly. My "new normal" had become so much a part of my life that it wasn't even "new" anymore, it just was.

So imagine a man who maybe hadn't lived his entire life on easy street, but somewhere close... and take him from the "blue" slopes of life and stick him on a "double diamond" and sit back and watch the scene unfold. That's essentially what I did with Nick.

He's still learning what the "new normal" is for him. He still has days when his eyes get wide as saucers and he stares at me as if maybe I haven't fully grasped the gravity of what's going on. But like I said, for me... this is just normal.

In our wedding vows, we promised to "Consider it joy" when we face trials because we "know that the testing of [our] faith develops perseverance." THAT has been the hardest of all our vows to live up to, and believe me, we have been given ample opportunity!

Just like the roller-coaster with its dips, twists, loops, and turns... this life is going to take us for a ride. Thank goodness we have God and each other to get us through. So, as we head into the next ride (and it seems there's always one around the corner), I say - let's just throw our hands in the air, savor the thrill, and "Consider it PURE JOY!" BRING IT!

My best friends make up what I call my "court of crazies." When I first met the core of this crew, two of us were in law school and the third was married to a fellow student. We met at the welcome reception. In a sea of perfectly normal people, the three of us were drawn to one another. I used to joke that it was our "crazy: rada