"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Genesis 2:24
On the occasion of the first recorded marriage, after the creation of Adam and Eve, God said to them: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." One Flesh.
Though God himself doesn't perform our modern marriage ceremonies, when we are married in the presence of God, we are joined to our spouse far more significantly than "the powers vested by the state of" where ever could ever bond a couple. We are united to our partner and become one, one flesh, one body.
I think the closest I can come to comprehending the kind of commitment that comes from being "one flesh" is being a parent. My children are flesh of my flesh. I honestly love them more than my own life and will go to great lengths and incredible sacrifices for them. But, those same little people, at times, drive me absolutely crazy!!!
Now, imagine it's one of those days (today was close!) and we are at the playground when along comes a little guy who is (can it be?) cuter than my own. He's more captivating, more charismatic, and has the most charming smile and melodic laugh. Do I leave my son in the sandbox and take off into Utopia with my new-found angel? I can't even fathom that! But even if I could, I know that once I claimed this "perfect" little specimen as my own, I would begin to uncover reality. No one is perfect. The diapers of the perfect child stink just as bad as those padding the bottoms of my own children.
So why is it then, in marriage, too often people are quick to leave their own "flesh" at the curb? I don't ask this to condemn, as I have been there myself. But having been there, I know firsthand the ramifications of such a choice. I have never lost a finger or a toe or any part of my physical body, but through my own choices, I have lost a piece of my flesh - the flesh God created when he joined me in marriage to another. Losing a piece of your flesh, whether by your choice or not, leaves a mark on your heart, on your soul, on your memory... a mark you will never walk away from.
In the course of any marriage, the man or woman will likely encounter someone who is more attractive, more comical, more successful, more "caring", or more accommodating than their mate. There will likely be someone who comes along with the power to make one partner or the other "feel alive" again, or for the first time. Someone will probably make you wives feel beautiful. Someone will likely make you husbands feel more like a man. Newsflash: That someone also has flaws! Maybe he doesn't put his clothes in the hamper, forgets to put the seat down, or squeezes the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. Perhaps she is an indiscriminate spender, always leaves the dishes in the sink overnight, or hates all mothers-in-law. Should you choose to remove a piece of your own flesh to follow this "perfect" specimen, you'll find that nobody is perfect.
Today I am watching a scene unfold and praying for the man and the woman involved. I pray that there is a change of heart and that neither will have to suffer the lifelong pain of losing a piece of the flesh they are through their union in Christ. I wish I could get through and let one of them know the grass isn't greener. From where I stand, the words I hear sound too familiar and the heart seems too far gone, but in Christ all things are possible.
Please keep this couple in your prayers.
And tonight, if you are blessed enough to have an imperfect partner who leaves the seat up or doesn't always put their dishes in the sink, thank them for loving imperfect you, and thank God for the gift they are.
