"I knew you... and chose you anyway"

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." Jeremiah 1:5

How amazing is it that God, the author of all things, knowing full well the roads we would walk and the choices we'd make in this life, still loves us and showers us with Grace?

Early in my relationship with my husband, I knew I was in love with him, and I also knew he was in love with me - and it scared me to death. I was scared because I thought he didn't know me. I thought if he knew all the bad choices I had made and all the ugly paths I'd traveled, he'd realize he deserved better than what he was falling for.

But, God used that to teach me an important lesson. Where I have been is not who I am.

Where have I been? I started out okay. I did well in school. I went to a Christian university. I married my college sweetheart and graduated at the top of my class. Two years later, I was divorced and living life my own way. I was a waitress in a "gentleman's club," I was a "beer girl" in a bar. I married a near stranger and got that annulled within months. I married again, had a child, and divorced within three years. I made one attempt at finding a church, but the receptionist, after asking about the tattoo on my ankle, told me "there's another church in town where you might be more comfortable." I decided not to find out. The next year, I was single and pregnant with another child. I found myself using terms like "damaged goods" in reference to myself. But one day, I realized.... even on those roads, I never traveled alone. God never left me. I was completely broken when I thought of the pain I must have caused Him... He who had already suffered greatly for me. And what an insult to think of myself as "damaged" - before He formed me in the womb, HE KNEW ME, and yet He still chose to bring me into being, He still gave His son for me.

So who am I? I am a redeemed, beloved, forgiven creation of a gracious and merciful God... and, I am the wife of the most wonderful man I've ever known! God is good.